..They say the eyes are the windows to your soul..

Look into my eyes..

You'll see dreams, shattered..

You'll see a spirit, broken..

You'll see love, lost..

You'll see me, no more..

..Nikki on the Drama Queen..

This woman (yeah, that’s you, Jess) sent me a text asking me if I would be her guest blogger. Random, but very flattering.

She said that I could write about anything, granted I must insert SOMETHING about her (narcissistic much? I kid, of course *wink*); for example, how she is to me. Not sure if she meant to write “WHO” she is to me or if she really did mean HOW she is to me.

That’s it.

No deadline. No maximum-length-of-blog given to me.

No problem right? WRONG.

The pressure I feel is immense. After all, would you want to let down someone whom you’ve known for *squints and struggles to use imaginary calculator* - NINETEEN years? Yeah, I think not.

Well, because I’m feeling this “pressure to perform”, I now have writer’s block. Thanks a LOT Jess.
I hope you’ve all come prepared with a pillow and blanket because this post is going to be a snoozer.
What to write…what to write?? (damnit Jess!)

Dear Jess,
It all started with a, ”Want to be my friend?” – who asked who first?
I don’t recall, but it doesn’t matter.
We’re still sisters, 19 years later. (Hey, that rhymed)

Remember Eddie? He must’ve been what, a Form 5-er (11th grade, whatever you wanna call it)? He always sat at the back of the school bus, and we’d go sit on his lap – I remember us getting a kiss from him (on the cheek people, on.the.cheek!). Geezus, the things little giddy girls get up to.

What about our “Talent-time” self-choreographed dance to “Action Speaks Louder Than Words” and how we completely BOMBED on stage? I have never wanted to get through a performance so quickly!

Fast forward to mid-teenage years; this is where the details get a little fuzzy.
You had different friends – I became too intimidated to talk to you because of those friends; I still thought about you though :).
Eventually you changed schools and we lost touch.
Out of sight, but NOT out of mind.

Fast forward another 7 years.
I still remembered your phone number, but the ONE time that I did forget it, it came back to me in a dream. It was then, that I knew I NEEDED to get in touch with you again.
I began my desperate search for you by sending out an e-mail to all the different e-mail addresses of yours that I knew. Not long after that, I received the reply I had been waiting for.
I couldn’t have been happier!
I remember that day - I was at work. I was so happy that I even printed out your e-mail to me and put it in a special binder/folder… I still have it :)

Soon after that online reunion, I was back in Malaysia for a visit! We met for lunch at Hard Rock Café and next thing you knew, we were getting inked, together!! (My first tattoo, and your uhm – millionth one, haha). As you looked on, I decided to try and psyche you out as much as I could because you were getting tatted in a rather sensitive area. But when it came to your turn, you took it like the champ that you are. Don’t ever forget – that tattoo was my birthday present to you :)
All in all, I had a happy visit.

My next visit 2 years later wasn’t on a happy note. I was on the verge of a divorce. A 22 year old divorcee. Imagine that.
The childhood fantasies we shared, of being with one Prince Charming for the rest of our lives were shattered, for me anyway. Whether you realized it or not, you helped me through a difficult moment/decision.

We indulged in a pamper session during this visit of mine.
(and readers, if you think Jess here has her blonde moments, well, Hi, - you’ve met her match)
See, I was supposed to get a pedicure, but when we were seated, you took one look at me and said,”Oi, you’re getting a pedicure, why lah are you wearing close-toed shoes??”
DOH. Blooooody hell…
The rest of our day was lunch and drinks, and spicy conversation.
I think that was the last time I saw you. I couldn’t celebrate your birthday with you for some reason; I think I was leaving on or near that day.

ANYWAY – I really could go on and on and on about you and I; about how uncanny our similarities are and always seemed to have been. I swear our lives run parallel to each other (I THINK that made sense. It made sense in my head but we all know how that goes) – Soul sisters is how I look at you and I.

I’ve rambled on for too much.
Given my inability to summarize, you probably should’ve reconsidered asking me to be a guest blogger! Let this serve as a lesson to you. *grin*

My sincerest apologies for such an anti-climactic post, Jess.

Love, Hugs & Kisses,
~ Nikki (don’t ANYONE ELSE DARE call me by that nickname…)

..Drama Queen on Semi-Sabbatical..

Avril came up (well, not necessarily created lah but its the first I"VE heard of it) with the idea of guest bloggers and I discovered this when she asked me to guest blog on Sunday at Avril Chan. So I said yes.

Then I decided since I've been feeling so uninspired and uncreative lately, I'm stealing, yes you read right, STEALING her idea. I've already asked her and yet to receive anything *ahem* *hint hint*

Then I asked my sister Nikki. See next post for her reply.

LOL. This was a good idea. Gets me out of coming up with stuff to write and keeps things updated on my blog.

Enjoy the writings and musings of people who TRULY know me.

Love,
Drama Queen (on sabbatical)

P.S: Thanks Avril for your unknowing permission to copy/steal/duplicate your idea. *big grin* You know I love you.

..Damn It..Damn You..

Damn you..
Its your fault..
Damn you..
I hope you're happy..
You've won..
I quit this.. and you..
Damn you..
I'm moving on..

..Girls..

Stole this from Munchkins blog.. Perfectly said..

Girls are like
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don’t want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren’t as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they’re amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who’s brave enough
to climb
all the way
to the top
of the tree.

..Me..

I am withdrawing into myself..

For I am truly the only one I can count on..

To protect myself against the harshness of the outside extremities..

And to shield myself from hurt..

..A Message To You..

You know.... it's kind of annoying..

You seem to have more to say about my relationship than I do..

You have made more comments and insinuations on my relationship than anyone should..

Yes I've made my share of mistakes, you're not without blame either..

You've thrown a ridiculous number of insults my way and I've kept silent..

I refrain from lashing out at you because I respect that you're hurt and angry..

Whatever happens between me and him, the good and the bad is between us.. Please respect that..

You may not think I'm right for him, but he's still with me, that should count for something..

I respect that its your corner of the web and you're entitled to bitch and moan about whoever and whatever..

If that be the case I could do the same here, but i haven't and I won't because its just not nice..

We had a good chat, I made a wrong move and the fragile 'peace' that existed was lost.. I accept the blame and apologize, sincerely..

But you said to me once "I'm not that kind of person".. I'm sorry, but you're behaving like that person..

Try to be objective and look at things again..

You say he's your best friend, so shouldn't you respect the decisions he makes, even though you think he's being a fucking idiot?

Shouldn't you want to see him happy instead of hoping that he falls? How am I supposed to be comfortable with your presence when you're acting like poison? I doubt you would tolerate this kind of behavior if the roles were reversed.

He loves me. That's simple. Yes we fight, yes I'm unreasonable, yes I'm demanding. But he loves me. And that's all that matters.

You say you can't stand drama.. what on earth is all this then?

If this post upsets you, I'm sorry.. Its not meant to be taken that way.. It's a plea really.. A plea for you to understand.. And leave me alone..

This is ALL that matters..