As one grows older, you start foregoing things that’ll make you look or feel childish, and before you know it, you’re an adult at 14. You stop gossiping about boy bands and start yapping politics and global financial affairs. Times that could be spent playing video games or screaming on roller coaster rides are spent on eating Crème Brule at swanky restaurants or sneaking into dance clubs with fake ICs.
Adults are getting younger these days. If this keeps up we’ll all be using the “When I was your age…” advices on those hardly 5 years younger than we are, and may end up playing BINGO at 30.
My question is “why”? What’s the rush?
Is it really the impression that children have on adults that they perceive the things we do as “cool”? (My goodness, who uses “cool” these days anyway?) They want to be seen as someone who can hold their own, someone of stature, independent and of course, more matured than their same-aged peers. Is it really a race of “who grows up first wins”?
As for me, although I am well into my adulthood, being “kiddish” is a form of therapy, to escape the norms and pressures of working life. I have no qualms about being seen or labeled as childish. Those who know me are those who matter, and those who matter know my level of intellect and who I really am.
And though I have yet to be a parent, I know for sure that when the time comes, I wouldn’t put up an adult-like barrier around the way I spend time with my kids. I want to resonate with them, be relevant, and be their best friend.
I have a married friend who has a 7 year old boy. Although he’s financially sound (very!), his kid doesn’t even have a PlayStation or Xbox, let alone a PSP that he could bring around. I went to his place last year and he was in the midst of playing Scrabble with his kid! And as of 3 weeks ago, he proudly told me that he’s barred Facebook and some popular online game sites on their browser, and insist that his son reads more, and on his spare time, do searches on Wiki. The poor boy’s just 7 for heaven’s sake!
And since I’m okay with the boy, I tried to steal a conversation with him and asked him if he’s enjoying what he’s doing. To no surprise, he’s devastated. I asked him what’s fun, and his immediate response was “Calvin’s house”. Calvin the Classmate has everything: toys, game consoles, PSP, bicycles, and most importantly to him, an unblocked Windows Explorer. They share the same home tutor, so everytime it’s Calvin’s turn to play host to the tuition classes, he goes there early to let himself loose and quench his deprivation of fun first. Now isn’t this sad that your child’s definition of “a great home” is someone else’s and not his own?
Who am I to tell this friend of mine how he should raise his kid when I don’t even have one of my own.
But for the rest of you, whether you’re a parent or gearing up to be one, try to listen to what your child wants too, because you may be surprised that, beyond their demands for toys and electronics, all they really want out of you is to play with them in their environment.
Think hard: when was the last time you played like a kid?
Go out on those tricycle rides, jump in puddles, play online games together, and rekindle those times when you genuinely enjoyed doing these things. If it works for a stressed l’il me, it’ll do wonders for you, and your home!
As for all you teenagers who can’t wait to grow up, here’s a little sisterly advice:
“Take. Your. Time.”
xoxo
Drama Queen
